How Strong Is Your Marriage you ask yourself and wonder if it is as strong as other marriages. We are all curious about this and Google makes it easy to seek advice privately.
If there are cracks in your marriage, you probably know already but reading about how other people deal with these cracks can be enlightening.
Ask Yourself These Basic Questions
Do we talk to each other?
Do we go out together, as a couple?
Do we have interests or hobbies in common?
Is our sex life satisfactory for both of us?
Do we do nice things for each other?
Do we share some of the chores at home?
Do we have friends as a couple?
Do we respect the views of each other?
Are you happy to see each other at the end of the day?
If you answer Yes to all of them, your marriage is in a happy place.
However if you have arrived at this page there is a fair chance that you are having doubts about your marriage and if No is more commonplace, there are areas that can be strengthened in your marriage.
Is It Possible To Save A Marriage If It Is Not As Strong As It Should Be?
Dr. Lee Baucom the creator of the marriage program, Save The Marriage definitely thinks so. He has over 25 years of experience helping couples and individuals. Dr. Baucom is trained as a therapist and life coach.
He says “That if your marriage is in trouble and you do nothing, the outcome is guaranteed. If you do something, there is a much better chance that your marriage will be saved.”
He explains, in four simple steps what you can do to save your marriage.
He emphasizes that simple is not the same as easy.
These steps are not easy. They do, however, give you a path that you must follow if you want to change the destiny of a marriage in trouble.
Click here to see what what steps you can take right now.
Do We Talk To Each Other?
As you would expect, communication has to be near or at the top of this list as plain and simple, without it the marriage will wither and die.
It is important for each person in the marriage to be able to communicate at all levels, so this includes when things are going well and when they are not.
Marriages where the partners grow distant and uncommunicative and have basically no meaningful communication can be difficult to rescue from a downward spiral.
Even if your partner is not the most communicative person and not all people are, the communication should still be loving and respectful. If it is not you will know the difference.
Many couples get into a habit of constantly criticizing each other.
If this is you and you recognise that, this is a good first step. The term ‘taking ownership’ does explain this perfectly.
When you can recognise in yourself some traits that are unpleasant you can certainly change them.
It takes time to change ingrained habits but it can be done if you have awareness. Now just catch yourself before you criticise.
Constant criticism is wearing and can chip away slowly at a relationship.
When it is just a growing part it is possible to extend the olive branch of communication and work towards establishing good communication skills once again.
Do We Go Out Together As A Couple?
Do you get home and collapse on the couch, maybe head off to the gym or some other activity.
That is fine but remember to schedule in some time to go out together as a couple.
It doesn’t need to be a big organized event although that is nice sometimes, it can be a cheap and cheerful dinner at your local Thai.
It does mean that you make conversation together and because there are none of the normal interferences, like TV, young or teenage children, it means that you chat together.
You might be surprised to find that you actually have more in common that you think.
This is a nice thing to do and definitely strengthens the bonds between a man and a woman.
Do We Have Interests Or Hobbies In Common?
When you first got together there is no doubt that you would have shared common interests.
Over time and as people grow and change those interests can change.
Even if you no longer share the same interest in hobbies it is important that you acknowledge your partner’s interest and vice versa.
You can still show interest and discuss the hobbies of your partner even if you have no interest in the topic yourself.
It is all about being respectful of the choices that you both make. If you share the same interests then this is a big plus and you have something in common that you both enjoy.
Is Our Sex Life Satisfactory For Both Of Us?
The level of intimacy that is normal within a marriage is very subjective, so what is normal for one couple won’t be for another.
You both need to feel that your sex life is okay.
If one partner is unhappy it is going to be difficult to bridge that gap.
It doesn’t have to be a deal breaker, often a lack of communication means that each partner is not even really sure what the other wants.
Going to a marriage counselor may be advisable for professional help and to get the conversation started.
Do We Do Nice Things For One Another?
One of the easiest and simplest ways of showing our love and affection for someone is doing something nice for them.
It might be making a cup of tea or coffee, holding a door open, doing a load of washing, picking up supplies from the store.
It’s the small things that count and make you feel valued which in turn is going to to have an effect on how you view your partner.
By doing small thoughtful things for each other you definitely strengthen those marriage bonds.
Do We Respect The Views Of Each Other?
Your views may be fairly similar after all your were drawn to each other for a reason however obviously not all of your views will be the same as your partner.
You need to respect different points of view from your partner and accept that you are both individuals with different ways of looking at life even though you may share the same values and priorities in life.
So… How Strong Is Your Marriage?
If you suspect or know or have identified that you are both playing the blame game in your marriage then professional help is recommended.
Incredibly Dr Baumans Program has helped his clients have achieve an 89.7% success rate.
This is a science based test and it focuses on compatibility.
It is a very easy test to take. From the detail in the test you can be sure that the matches will be worth your time.
You can use a username of your choice rather than entering your own name, if you prefer
This site has Free and Paid options.
You can also do the test a little at a time. Just save your work and come back to it later.