How to forgive a cheater is assuming you want to keep your relationship.
Many people cannot forgive cheaters and move on. However everyone is different and you have your own reasons why you would want to salvage the relationship.
Unfortunately in today’s world cheating has become somewhat of a usual occurrence in relationships and it’s something that more of us are commonly facing.
If your man has cheated on you and both your love and trust for him has broken.
I completely understand that your past together may be months or it maybe years and years. This point will play a role in what I suggest below.
Just Think About It
Firstly, before trying to figure out how you can go about forgiving your significant other for the mistake they have made, you need to believe on the inside that he deserves your forgiveness.
There’s no plan to forgive him that will actually help you feel better If , on the inside – in your heart, don’t honestly feel that he deserves it.
So, the first thing you should be thinking about and considering is – does he deserve it?
Ask yourself things like
- Is this the first time he has cheated ?
- Why did he cheat?
- Was there an issue in your relationship at the time? And… if it happened again how would your partner act differently?
- Does he honestly regret what he has done?
- Do you think he can earn back your love and trust?
These are the questions you need to ask yourself first before trying to figure out how to forgive your partner.
If you can honestly reflect over the predicament and feel that he deserves that second chance, then you can move onto the advice below.
The next thing you should do is very important to this process of forgiveness.
You should try to take some time to yourself at this point, move out and live away from him for a few days. Make it a longer period of time if you need it and it’s practical.
End all communication, and just reflect over everything.
It’s important that you also try your best to sort out your emotions.
The first thing you’re going to want to do is either get very angry at him, blame yourself, or even cling to him and not let him out of your sight.
These are all things you should avoid and show him that you’re serious about this and that he really did screw things up.
Don’t even attempt to communicate with him until your emotions are all in check and you have decided what you want to do and how you want to go about it.
This will also give him space and time to think about what he did. Then you can better evaluate his honesty, sincerity, and desires (in terms of how badly he wants to get back to you and realizes that he has made a mistake).
At this point hopefully you are ready to maybe begin communicating with your man once again.
The most important advice I can suggest at this point is to ensure that you approach this initial communication phase slowly.
Things are going to be quite raw between the both of you. It’s very important to take it slow, and if that means that things feel different or new, then good!
It will not be the same.
Build A New Relationship and Forgiveness Will Come
This is probably one of the most important stages of the whole forgiveness process.
You have to realize that since things will not be the same with your man. Both of you are essentially going to be building a new relationship with each other from scratch.
For many couples that have pushed through issues such as cheating, this is one of the most crucial stages. It will set the foundation for the rest of the relationship in the future – especially the areas of trust and love.
By starting the relationship from scratch once again, your man realizes that he has to start working on love and trust again. This is done through him proving himself to you.
It’s important that you make him realize that he has to work hard for this.
Otherwise you run the risk that at some point in the future you may still feel that he doesn’t deserve the second chance and you have only done it because it’s the easier option (when compared to ending it all and having to be single once again).
Hence, by seeing him, I guess, jump through hoops to get you back, you can slowly start to believe in your heart that he is indeed truly sorry – remember, actions speak louder than words!
Be Prepared To Make Adjustments
Things will not be the same as before.
This means that you are going to have to make changes or adjustments as the relationship begins to grow once again.
This could include changing how you react in certain instances that could have added to some sort of an issue between the both of you (that may have contributed to the cheating incident).
Or this could simply mean the both of you making adjustments that will allow for new growth in the relationship around the areas of trust and love.
Since it will not be the same as before, there needs to be a different approach. This could lead to the love between the both of you being stronger than it was before.
As you can see from the steps explained, it’s definitely possible to forgive a cheater.
Is it easy?
No. Not really…
It’s going to require a lot of discipline on your part, especially in the beginning. Your emotions are just changing like traffic lights.And as you start to communicate once again, when things have died down and you have thought about the issue rationally, you have to remember to approach the relationship differently. Give him space to prove himself and earn your trust and love back.
Also imply that he needs to do it to earn you back, so you can convince yourself that he deserves the second chance!
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