If you are searching for ‘How to save a marriage?’ you must have concerns about the current state of your marriage.
It may not be exactly at an end but perilously close?
Maybe it’s a case of no one can be bothered anymore.
It’s all too easy to run on an autopilot of complacency but nothing actually changes that way and usually spirals downwards.
How To Save A Marriage – What Can I Do?
There are steps that you can take to rebuild the warm, loving relationship you once had.
Has the gulf grown too wide?
Ultimately, you have to be willing to put your heart and soul into fighting for it and maybe trying something different to reconnect, which includes being open to advice.
When you are ready to do this, there are strategies to put in place for saving your marriage.
You will need to monitor the strategies for effectiveness and make some tweaks.
It sounds like a battle plan.
It’s not but it certainly is a plan and it is better to have a plan than to drift aimlessly and end up in divorce.
How To Save A Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
But … All Marriages Are Different!
That is true, there is no set of strategies that will work for everyone, however there are some pretty clear actions you can take, that certainly make it easier to move forward.
Don’t discard some ideas as not being appropriate for your situation.
Even if you decide some of these ideas are not for you, be flexible and consider that maybe you might need to try something totally different.
Repair the Damage to Your Marriage – Click Here To Find Out How
This one strategy, Tolerance, will instantly lift stress and even annoying behavior will seem less troublesome.
This is an easy one to start off with so should be at the top of your action plan.
When we first hooked up with our partner, the little annoyances we didn’t like were easily overlooked.
In the halo of lurrrrve, we might have even thought those little habits were cute.
After some time that halo slips or maybe it has fallen right off and now those little annoyances are major, annoying intrusions.
This is quite normal but even knowing that doesn’t always help.
This is something that is really quite easily fixed.
Just try being more tolerant. A REALLY conscious effort.
If you do nothing else at all, at least try this, not for half a day or a day, although that is okay to start. This means a long term commitment to being more tolerant.
As a result you will find that your own peace of mind improves as you are not always ready to go for the jugular.
So yep, you are going to have to put up with that throat clearing, whistling, excessive flossing or whatever it is.
In any good marriage there is room for negotiation. It is not as though you have to put up with something that you find intensely displeasing.
For those little annoyances practice some tolerance.
Some couples thrive on arguing so if this sounds like you, skip this tactic.
Many couples don’t really differentiate between arguing and having an opinion.
It is okay if you don’t agree about everything and equally important that you can respect a difference of opinion.
If you have a ‘winner’ or ‘getting even’ mentality in an argument, you will need to lose it.
It’s not pretty and no one wins anyway. Even when you think you have won, you have chipped a little bit more self-esteem away from your partner.
If you have developed a culture of arguing it really will take an effort to talk together about respecting each other’s opinion and there not having to be a winner.
This is what you need to do – Next time you feel an argument brewing, voices rising, heart racing, you need to stop and reflect on what you are both doing.
Not an easy thing to do, this is much harder than practicing tolerance and requires input from both parties.
It may not work straightaway especially if this is how you have operated for years but rather look at it as a work in progress.
Don’t expect to solve problems overnight that have been bubbling away for years.
It’s a bit like trying to lose those extra pounds in a week when they have taken ten years to put on.
But…we are all human, give yourself a break and just go at it gently.
You can put romance back into your marriage.
Start with a ‘date night’, organize a babysitter and spend some time with your partner.
It might be a picnic, a walk by the river, fish and chips at the beach, a glass of wine at a local bar, a game of tennis, a coffee.
It doesn’t have to a fully blown date but just some time together that is solely for the two of you.
It is so easy to get caught up in the humdrum and busyness of everyday life. Just taking this small timeout can do wonders for a flagging relationship.
Sometimes, does it even seem worth the effort to communicate?
If you really want to know how to save a marriage this is a biggie.
Many couples almost lead parallel lives and communication has slowly withered away. You know that feeling, you can’t be bothered at the end of the day talking to someone who isn’t even listening. You will need steely resolve to stick to this, remember, small steps.
If this has happened to you, begin by including your partner with what happened in your day or with work colleagues or with the children.
You don’t need to give a blow by blow account, that is frankly boring but do include your partner in the quirky little everyday things that happen.
It doesn’t matter what your domestic situation, you should be able to share news with each other.
Otherwise, disconnect happens and before you know it you are two strangers living in a house together.
Take the time to tell your partner the small intimate details of your day.
This is what builds relationships and gives you the special connections that are just between the two of you.
Saving a marriage does take an effort on both sides but often one side has to start before the other.
A word of advice to women – Don’t start off saying to a man that you want to work on your relationship. This will have many of them running for the hills as they
a) see work involved
b) worry that you are going to want to talk about his feelings
c) think you are going to point out shortcomings
Repair the Damage to Your Marriage – Click Here To Find Out How
The personality test is science based and focuses on compatibility. It is a very easy test to take however from the detail in the test you can be sure that the matches will be worth your time.
You can use a username of your choice rather than entering your own name, if you prefer.
This site has Free and Paid options.
You can also do the test a little at a time. Just save your work and come back to it later.