Think of your online dating profile as the first time you meet a new man. Put yourself in his shoes.
What would he actually see if he was to meet you in real life? By ‘see’ I don’t just mean physical appearance but also what you are like as a person.
You need to translate that information into your online dating profile.
The thing that is tricky about a profile is that it is the written word, in real life there is not just our conversation but mannerisms, behaviour, laugh sense of humour and so on which paint an overall impression.
Somehow all of that needs to be conveyed in a profile.
Perhaps online profiles should be short videos rather than photos as sometimes photos can be a little misleading.
Online Dating Profile Tips – Women
You have probably read lots of online dating profiles and know that they can sound rather generic. By the time you have read a few they have sort of blurred into a conglomeration of short phrases such as – likes going for long walks – loves animals and the ubiquitous walk on the beach.
I love walking on the beach as much as the next person but it is such an overused phrase that I would definitely steer clear of that one. Here are some online dating profile tips wome will find useful. For more information about finding a partner after fifty, you would find this post helpful too.
What Makes You, You?
Writing a profile is an exercise in marketing yourself and while this sounds a bit harsh it is reality. It important to say what you need to say with being too wordy and waffling on and on which is a turn off.
Write a draft and then go back, another day or later in the day and edit so don’t worry about the waffle when you are getting your thoughts in order. The word cull can come later.
Lisa Copeland’s book- The winning Dating Formula for Women over 50 -has excellent tips for not only writing a profile but also for online dating. I have written an in depth review of the book here.
What Makes You Unique?
We are all unique. What makes you unique is different from what makes me unique.
You are writing about yourself.
Give some hints about what you are like as a person and maybe there will be someone who thinks – Hey, I like the sound of that person. I’d like to meet that person.
You want that person to be you.
It is the everyday things that people can relate to, not whether you are a CEO or have achieved amazing feats in life.
Don’t brag but there’s nothing wrong with ambition and a little glimpse into your ambitions in life.
Talk about your qualities and things you like, such as – The sort of food you like to eat? The sort of things that make you smile or laugh or cry? The sports you follow or play and other interests and so on.
Avoid Generic Terms
Start writing about you and not in a bunch of phrases that mean nothing. A person reading your profile is going to be far more interested in a personal aspect of your life, rather than a bunch of generic phrases like – I want to meet my soulmate. Ughhh! Enough!
Another phrase to steer away from.
Adjectives Are Okay But There’s A Disclaimer
Avoid adjectives like romantic, happy, fun which once again don’t really say anything and anyone can write them. By themselves they are quite meaningless but they can be super powerful if you give an example of how you like to spend your free time and have fun.
For example, “I love to go paddleboarding and as I am a beginner I am working on improving my technique”, or “I love Thai food. I taking Thai cooking classes and plan to visit Bangkok one day to try the street food.”
No Life Story Please!
If it looks like an essay it is just going to get boring. Remember, people online are reading lots and lots of profiles so please don’t make it too long.
There has to be some things that you hold back for the first contact and date. You are not writing you life story.
You know what it is like when someone goes into far too much detail about their life when you first meet.
It just gets plain boring after a while. Don’t make the same mistake on your profile.
Keep it short and to the point.
What Are You Looking For In a Guy?
Don’t be too picky. It might be to your advantage to step outside of your comfort zone particularly if you always date the same type of guy and he turns out to be the wrong type. Ah ha, I can see some nodding heads.
Physical characteristics which are appealing to you but don’t have to be a deal breaker might just mean that you meet your perfect match. He might not be have dark hair as you normally would be attracted to but he could be a perfect match.
If you are too picky you could bypass some of the hidden gems.
No Mention Of Exes
No one want to hear about your last relationship. It automatically just sends out negative vibes and a big warning sign to stay away. No one want to date someone on the rebound and if they do, they are definitely the wrong sort of people.You don’t want someone who maybe wants to exploit a vulnerability.
Really no one says it better than Peter Hurley (photographer) for super simple photographic tips that really do make a difference. Check out this post, you really have to. It is the best advice even if it feels a little unusual at first. Scroll down to the two videos called The Squinch and It’s All About The Jaw. There’s no magic here. It’s all about presenting what you already have in the best way possible.
Please, no photos that are in a time warp and look as though the eighties are still with us (yep, that means no big hair) and avoid photos that are too dark or tloo blurry.
Go for a clear image that presents you in a flattering and positive light.
Look into the camera. It is like making eye contact in real life and remember to smile showing your teeth.
No one want to see a tight thin lipped smile.
Look as though you mean it.
Your photo could also show you doing something you like doing. It still needs to be obviously you so ask someone to take a shot of you doing something you love, hiking, sailing, playing guitar, in the garden and so on. It’s okay if it is a group shot as long as it is obvious which person is you.
Include a closer shot. Many profiles will allow for more than one photo. Ask a friend to take a shot, rather than a selfie. Follow Peter Hurley’s rules. You will have a laugh, I can guarantee that but you will get a good result too. No guys in the photo, even if it is your cousin or your brother, just don’t complicate matters before anything has even started.
Words To Avoid
You know those words like must and should. They sound like you might be telling us what to do before we even met you.
Also avoid saying things like – I will only date someone who is older/ younger etc. This is a real turn off and too much of this will have dates running for the hills as they see you being too demanding.
If there are some things you can’t compromise on like dating a smoker, it’s okay to include that if it is a true deal breaker.
Be Specific Or Not?
There are two schools of thought on being specific about what you want. Some people think that being too specific, for example regarding marriage, or commitment might scare people away.
That might be the case but there is also the case that you might just end up with with dates who actually are looking for exactly the same thing. This is totally up to what makes you feel comfortable,
Keep the bio section to around 200 to 300 words. Balance it with a little about you and a little about what you are looking for.
There’s no excuse for poor spelling or grammar. Double check before you post but we are all human, if you make a mistake go and fix it.
Edit and proofread your profile on another day. It’s amazing what the space of a day can bring.
You will notice all of those “extra’ words that you can now delete.
You might just be able to formulate what you want to say in a better way. All writers do this and it is essential.
Different dating sites will have different formats so you might need to juggle the information to fit. As long as you have the basics covered you will be able to do easily.
Is there are any Science behind an online dating profile?
Well, you might think not but there has been an evidence based study completed. Click here for the full article. Is love a science? I’m not sure about that but the study does make interesting reading.
Read the reviews for Lisa’s Copeland’s book – The Winning Dating Formula for Women Over 50 book here.
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