Why do I always get dumped? Getting dumped, is such an ungainly expression but we all know what it means.
Getting dumped is heartbreaking, sad, demoralizing and earth shattering all at once.
If you haven’t seen it coming there’s that element of disbelief and then reality hits. Being dumped is something that hurts no matter if you are 15 or 50 even though admittedly the way you deal with it will be different. When you are 15 it is a disaster of epic proportions but it’s also a learning experience and part of growing up often accompanied by a lot of tears and accusations.
At 15 humans are very egocentric. By the time you are fifty you can probably see that it is also largely the ego that you are dealing with in terms of how you are coping.
Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
Why am I always getting dumped? or Why do I get dumped all the time?
There’s lots written about coping with being dumped and how to get over it but this article will focus more on the Why part of being dumped.
Is there a reason why you are always getting dumped? It's not because of the person you are but it may be the actions or behaviors you display.
Sometimes we can’t see that we are repeating the same mistakes but with a different person over and over.
Sound familiar? You are not alone.
Why are you always getting dumped? It’s not because of the person you are but it may be the actions or behaviors you display.
Like any problem sometimes we need to take a different approach. The saying “you can’t see the wood for the trees” comes to mind. How amazing is the moment when you realize that there is another way.
Being able to observe yourself or watch yourself from a distance can have a profound effect on how you manage everyday events in your life.
Even in the middle of a crisis, being able to step back and mindfully observe your actions in detail (even if that is a great deal of crying) immediately diffuses emotions. Get into the habit of watching yourself. It can be quite surprising.
Evan Marc Katz's book does do exactly that. He helps you to observe your own actions from the man's perspective.That is kind of like a secret weapon.
Evan is a dating coach who has been providing online advice to women for years.You may have already seen Evan online as he has 9 million blog readers. That is an amazing statistic. He has thousands of satisfied clients. That is a pretty mean claim to fame.
When you think about it, dating advice for women from a male is a good idea but yes, it has to be the right male. Evan is now happily married with two children but before that there was a long road of dating disasters. Evan doesn't give advice from a pedestal, thank goodness and explains in his About page how he became a dating coach. It gives a good insight into Evan as a person.
Evan's book called Why He Disappeared will explain the real reasons that men disappear from your life even when you think things are going well.
The only thing you can do when things go wrong in love is to keep going.
And if you need a push in the right direction, I would highly recommend checking out Evan's eBook, “Why He Disappeared: The Smart, Strong, Successful Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men and Keeping the Right One Hooked Forever”.
In a matter of minutes, you’ll be able to let go of all of the pain in your past, learn how to choose a better partner in the future, and understand what men are thinking for the rest of your life.
What To Do When You Get Dumped?
But exactly why are you always the dumpee? Following are some points that are common turn offs. Do any apply to you?
Neediness or Dependence
Neediness is a turnoff for both sexes. What might seem endearing when you first meet won’t seem so cute when you can't make a move without checking with him or checking up on him.
Do you need someone in your life or do you want someone in your life? There is a big difference. Neediness is quite unbecoming.
Choosing The Wrong Guy
Do you always go for the same type of man, for example, the bad boy that women love to love?
It can be hard to break the pattern and often we don’t even realize there is a pattern unless someone points it out to us.
Have a heart to heart with a trusted friend and get someone else's opinion about this. Women tend to have the edge here over men, as they are more likely to other women in their inner circle about life and relationships.
Are You At Different Stages In Life?
You want to stay in one place, enjoy the aspects of living at home, and he wants to go globe trotting. Someone is always going to compromise in this situation. It can work out, everyone makes compromises almost daily but sometimes it is better to just move on.
Have you ever had the feeling that you met the right person but at the wrong time in your life? It happens. Align your purpose with someone who shares the same ambitions and priorities in life.
Are you just flying that independence flag are little too high? I know we are all brought up to be strong independent women but remember a relationship is a partnership too and too much independence can mean there is a disconnect because there is always a barrier there.
You need to be able to rely and when necessary lean on each other.
You have worked hard for success in your chosen field but be aware some guys might find that threatening.
That’s their problem I can hear you saying but it can become your problem too if you do end up having a serious relationship. What can you do about this? I think you just need to be upfront. Make sure that your partner is a priority in your life just as your career is. It won’t worry some men but others will feel toppled from their throne so just be aware of this.
Are you desperate for a partner? This is a bit like neediness and it doesn't come across well. Don’t make your partner feel as though they are being trapped.
Repeat this affirmation for desperation: “I am totally and completely fulfilled within myself, independent of what anyone else thinks or says about me."
You are probably still feeling numb or hurt from being dumped and those feelings don’t just go away.
Does this ring any bells for you?
Getting dumped could actually be a blessing in disguise even though it may not feel like it at the moment.
Something to consider - You would probably run from any man who wanted to marry you right away. Men do run from women who want to know the future before they even know it.
Realize that the right man will WANT to commit to you.
What to do when you get dumped? Take some action.
Check out Evan's eBook, “Why He Disappeared”, which tells you how men think and how you can connect during those first tentative few weeks together.