Why do men cheat? Divorce rates are skyrocketing and a fair percentage of marriages end in divorce, many as a result of cheating.
Often, couples are in seemingly happy relationships and to cheat would ultimately put all they have at risk.
Despite the risk and possibility of divorce, men do still cheat.
Cheating leaves a trail of heartbreak, confusion and bewilderment.
Is There A Certain Type Of Man Who Cheats?
Generally speaking, men who cheat..
- have low self esteem
- may show a lack of trust in others
- are often unsure about what they want in life
- feel dissatisfied,
and eventually feel the desire to look elsewhere.
This makes them feel better even when life is pretty darn good at home.
Can Knowing Why Men Cheat Help To Stop It In The First Place?
Well, if you are serious about this, there are signs when a relationship is not going well. What can you do to avoid a broken heart?
Look for some of the signs below and act on it before there is a real problem.
Unhappiness And Disappointment
Some men may feel life is passing them by. The marriage may not have lived up to expectations although nothing may be drastically wrong.
The dream job may now be humdrum and going nowhere. He sees nothing ahead but years and years of the same.
This is a pretty normal scenario for most couples. The day to day demands of daily life can get in the way of communication. Add to that family, relatives, buying a home and it all starts to build up.
Enter, midlife crisis although that term seems somewhat outdated now and a crisis can strike at any age.
Rather than tackling the issues that really matter he seeks solace elsewhere. He expects that no one will find out. Of course when he is invariably found out, then there is heartbreak for everyone.
It’s a common enough scenario and it is easy to slip into a pattern of non communication.
At some point you suspect that he is cheating.
Why Do Men Cheat? Because They Can
For some men, it is because they have got away with it and they will do it again and even more so if mates have done the same thing.
However, even though they think they have got away with it and strictly speaking they have, there is underlying damage done to the relationship. He is now trying to maintain a facade of everything being normal.
This will chip away at a marriage and eventually cause a rift which will deepen.
Women often talk about ‘the hunch’ they have that things are not right so if this is the case for you, do something about it.
It is amazing how often those hunches have some substance.
Confrontation isn’t easy but you owe it to yourself to be treated with respect.
Being cheated on is not being treated with respect.
Ask him the hard question and be prepared for his answer. What if he lies? Well, he will now know that you have suspicions.
Take it as it comes and confront him again if necessary. That hunch is a good barometer.
By the way, this does not include psycho chick who is suspicious about everything little thing.
I am talking about the pit of the stomach hunches and those sudden moments when alarm bells go off and you realize all is not as it should be.
It Just Happened
A man is going to feel flattered if someone starts flirting with him, complimenting him and otherwise showering him with attention.
For some men, note I do same some and not all, this allure will be hard to resist and it may end up as a fling (one night stand) or blossom into an affair.
This is a classic case of ‘it just happened’. The office Christmas party where colleagues have one or two too many drinks and one thing leads to another and another and another. Men don’t tend to see this as a problem as they have no emotional investment in the encounter. Women don’t feel like that and they do feel betrayed.
It is difficult to counter this type of behavior. Your partner needs to know what the consequences are if this should become a reality.
It just happened, is not an excuse.
Divorce Is Expensive
A carefully built portfolio of assets can be ruined by an expensive divorce, gobbled up in fees, child support and supporting two households instead of one.
The thought of separating the assets, dealing with child custody and all that that entails is going to be a huge blow financially.
By cheating, he doesn’t have to give up all that he has worked for. Kind of like the having the cake and eating it scenario.
Testing The Waters
This applies to the man who isn’t sure if he want to separate from his partner or file for divorce so he hedges his bets by having an affair.
He hopes that this will make the way clearer for him to make a decision, however when emotions are involved it is not quite that simple.
If your relationship has got to this stage, you need to have the talk, the do we stay or do we go talk.
An Eye For An Eye
In the heat of the moment the rejected partner wants to see the cheating partner hurt however this is clearly not a good idea.
When the motive is an eye for an eye, no one will come out of it well.
Ego – Is A Dirty Word
Male ego and the thrill of the chase can be an aphrodisiac for some men and they revel in being in control. You know the type I mean.
These men can be serial offenders and believe that they can control the situation so are not too concerned about cheating.
Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed 200 husbands including those who had cheated to find out the reasons why men cheat. Interestingly 48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.
So cheating isn’t always just about sex. Men have emotional needs too but they often aren’t as good at letting their other half know what they are feeling.
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